Sunday, January 10, 2010

Rivuh Jordan, Chile, You Gonna Wear Me Out

In the event that you haven't heard, River Jordan and I will be taking a Great Southern Wing and a Prayer Road Trip this spring, thru a host of southern states and as many bookstores, schools, or libraries as we can fit into the schedule. More details on facebook. And, for the record, I'd surely understand if you aren't in that loop! What with all the info coming at me these days, I do believe I could miss a nice-sized pink elephant playing spoons with Dixie Belle in the center of the living room. But, as I was saying, we are indeed setting off on a wild advernture. As Rivuh (my affectionate pronunciation of her name) mentioned yesterday, "Never has a tour been more aptly named". We are both notorious for arriving in that very manner. Sometimes, when I manage to stop long enough to breathe, one of the voices in my head will ask, "May I please speak to whoever it was here that thought it was possible to squeeze a two-week tour into our schedule this spring?" So far, this question has been dissed by the others.

Don't get me wrong. I'm reallllllllllllly looking forward to it. I expect it to be a full out HOOT. It's just the logistics of life that can get crazy, yes? And speaking of crazy...that's what I had in mind when I pulled up this page, to get the crazy dream I had last night out of my head and down on paper, er, laptop. (As a general rule, the only way I can get something outta of the brain loop is to get it in words.)

We had driven up to our first "event". I had begun unloading the few promotional goods and books I planned to take inside when I noticed Rivuh's process of unloading looked a whole lot like that old scene of the clowns emergin with all their worldly good from a tiny car. I mean the girl was unloading, and unloading, and unloading. About that time we were greeted by our contact person who, after the initial meet and greet, asked which one of us was cooking.

"Cooking?" I asked.

Rivuh grinned. "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, Shellie. I added a few things to our agenda." That's when I discovered that Rivuh had felt free to tell our hosts that I would "cook up a few things" for the crowd. Did I mention that we were at a school of 500? As they escorted me to the kitchen while Rivuh continued to unpack, I made a mental note to shoot her, later.

After I cooked and served the masses, I met up with Rivuh in the gym to prepare for our presentation, only Rivuh wasn't preparing, she was finishing a little building project-- a portable concession stand to be exact-- from materials she had brought along with her. I had to ask. You would've.

"Rivuh, what are you doing now?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you about this, too." Our conversation was interrupted by someone ordering a snickers which was the first time I noticed a line was forming. In between the next few customers Rivuh explained that setting up a concession stand at each stop was her brilliant idea to help defray our expenses. Brilliant was her word.

I woke up about that time and breathed a sigh of relief to find it was just a dream. Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, I did call Rivuh this afternoon, you know, just to make sure we were on the same page...


  1. I'd love to make fun of you for your crazy dream....unfortunately many of mine are much more bizzare! Yall will have a GREAT time! I wish I could be there ;)

  2. Now anybody in this world knows that a portable snickers stand is brilliant. Just brilliant I say. And did I tell you that little jeep diesel will just pull ANYTHING Shellie - even that portable concession stand.